As some of you may know, my Dresden Files-ish basement apartment is no more. That is, the apartment itself is still there, but my things and I no longer inhabit it. Some other person, or persons, are probably unpacking their stuff into it as you read this. Their dishes where mine were. Their couch in a totally different spot than where I had mine. Their Wil Wheaton cardboard cutout where I…I didn’t have one of those. But in hindsight, I obviously should have.
Regarding my current abode, I am temporarily staying with a couple of fantastic friends, who may very well be the best people in the world for helping me out while I am in waiting-for-grad-school-response limbo. And what a weighty limbo it is; a yes keeps me here, while a no sends me on plane back to my ancestral homeland of Transylvania. Massachusetts. Transylvania Massachusetts.
That joke would have worked much better if that town actually existed. When I am elected King of America (my grasp on national politics may be a bit shakey), Northampton will be renamed Transylvania by Royal Fiat. If nothing else, the Rocky Horror bunch will be happy.
But returning to my glorious friends, who are not only putting up with my near continuous presence, but are introducing me to new anime -more on that tomorrow soon- I owe my fondest gratitude.*
One interesting thing about where I’m currently staying; I am sleeping in an alcove, under a sharply slanting, three and a half foot high ceiling, which I imagine feels a lot like living in a cupboard under a stairwell.
Seems I’ve gone from Harry Dresden to Harry Potter. I’d like my Nimbus 2000 now please.
*Legal Note: gratitude is non-transferable, is non-refundable, and has no monetary value, except where required by law and/or ethics.
On fear of a cursed Nimbus the committee and I have commandeered it. We will be keeping it for safety testing. This will include but is not limited to:
* Test drives
* Fire Safety Tests
* General Stress Tests
* Testing its solitaire ability
*Using it to clean up messes
*Teaching it to Waltz and observing both its learning rate and responses
* Using it for curling practice
*Teaching Penguins to fly
*Using it for Fencing
*Training it as a sheep herding dog
Please note, succeeding at this test will result in your Nimbus being donated to Scotland
*Cake making
*Butchering
*Baking
*Candlestick making
*Muffin taming
*Elephant wrangling
* Assessing whether or not it has received all its shots
* Removing all enchantments on it, and then repeating the above tests
Please allow 2 – 17 weeks for these tests to be completed. Now, we at the Committee are not monsters, whilst the testing is in process we will be giving you a loaner for the time being. Your choices include:
*A classic Nimbus 1
* A broken Tonka Truck
* A Neon Pink Boombox from the 80′s
* 4 Red Lego Bricks
* One roller blade
Note: This roller blade is missing its wheels
* A Christmas Snow Globe
* The box for an Xbox Elite
* A tooth.
Please write your selection on a 3 X 5 post card and address it to
Josh’s Ultimate Commitee
42 We’re Awesome Lane
Narnia
011235813
And as always Habba Habba Zoot Zoot
(It has been slow at work this morning. And I came in an hour early >.<)
Bah, always with the bureaucratic red tape! This is America! A man should be able to write ridiculous things late at night and then get his damn flying broomstick!
You’ve just made my list for when I’m King. -_-
The Committee happily acknowledges and accepts its placement on Abrams “People-I-will-make-dukes-and-give-magic-rings-to-when-I-am-king” list. The committee will also like to formal call “dibs” on Australia as its dukedom. (It should be noted that the Committee failed basic Geography but is certain the great kingdom of America owns Australia)
Please note: Whilst the Committee is happy to be on this list it can not show favoritism and the wait time on your Nimbus testing has been increased to 3-18 weeks. We thank you for your support.
Unfortunately for the Committee, Australia is merely a prefecture of the Kingdom of America, not a Dukedom, and therefore your “dibs” is useless.
I am willing to consider the dispensation of the heretofore uncharted and unclaimed realms of Canada, which I believe is located somewhere in the frozen north, and is populated entirely by roving bands of moose-riding hockey players, in their endless vigilant quest to ward of their natural predator, the dreaded Mountie.
The committee accepts your Generous offer. It does, however, regret to inform you that your Nimbus has been donated to Scotland. Thank you for your time.
Why did I just have to assemble a house?
Hello! I found my way here after wondering “What in the world is Abram doing these days?” and now there’s the potential that you may be returning to western Massachusetts? Plus grad school decisions this early? whatttttt.
You just built a house because it’s good, solid, character building work! Interestingly, I just found I *did* get into grad school, so I will no longer be returning to the coast with the better weather. >_<
More details to come soon, promise!